Suprised... at Who i Am?

List 10 things that people are always surprised to find out about you.
[from Daydreaming on Paper]

1. i LOVE orange juice with cream in it. yum! it cuts the acid of the orange juice, and makes it creamy, like an orange smoothie or an Orange Julius. just gotta stir it in so it doesnt "separate". suprised?

2. i wore all black in high school - black clothes, black hair, black makeup. yup, black makeup (except for the talc powder-seriously, all face powders were too dark!)... but i did it with class~! see in the pic? black lipgloss! :D ... and i'd never, ever heard the word 'goth' back then! suprised?

3. i used to love long nails... but my nails are so soft, they won't grow past an eigth of an inch.... except for my pinky nails! i guess the rounder curve (smaller finger) made them sturdier. so i babied my pinky nails, grew them out long, polished them.... and when they finally broke off i kept them. a few days ago i showed a friend, and she said, "why did you have coke nails?" i said, "what's that?" honestly.... no wonder people assumed i was a stoner! (but i've never touched that kind of stuff in my life!!!) ...suprised?

4. i'm only on 4? i'm getting tired, need to go to bed soon! ok.... i am a night owl. i mean, a NIGHT OWL. i am more alert (intellectually, mentally) in the later evening than at any other time of day... so much so that if i forget to take my 'wonderful' meds that conk me out, i don't sleep at night. my mind buzzes, i read, write, sing, clean, browse, whatever.... everything but sleep. and in the mornings, whether i've gotten lots of sleep or little, i DO NOT wake up well.... the first three hours are usually kind of shot. ....suprised?

2 b continued.... zzzz (soon... i hope....)

5. good morning! hopefully it was good for you, anyways... this morning i had one of my 'can't wake up' episodes.... this thing happens where i just cannot wake up, yet i am awake, but still dreaming.... i'll have scary things happening (this morning it was poisonous ants crawling in my bed) and i'll be frozen and unable to move... i'll try to call out for mom to come and shake me awake, but no sounds come out... i can hear her going up and down the stairs, going on the computer (for real), but cannot move. when i finally woke up i hollared until she came, cuz i knew if i stopped i would fall asleep again. i am so tired right now, but if i lay down i will fall asleep again, and it will be that same kind of dreaming.... suprised?

6. i didn't get my drivers license till i was 31....i still only have my L. (but my road test for my N is in two weeks or so). suprised?

7. why did i start this list? i'm having much too much of a hard time thinking of things to write! ok here's one.... when i was in school, i couldn't concentrate in a quiet room... but if, when doing my homework, i had music playing (and not quietly), i could concentrate~! even today, when i'm driving, if i have music playing, i concentrate better. suprised?

8. coffee doesn't wake me up. sometimes i feel like it puts me to sleep. one day i was so sleepy i was falling asleep standing up... i went to a coffee shop and had two expresso's straight up... and i was still falling asleep sitting at the table... suprised?

9. if someone hasn't met me in person yet, or i haven't seen them for a few years, they are usually pretty suprised to hear that i have pink dreads. :D ... but again, i do them with class. suprised? lol

10. hallelujah, the last one. um..... ok, this is weird. i just may have a brother i've never heard about, somewhere in the great white north..... someone called my house a few years ago, and asked for my dad (same last name/initials in the phone book). i said no, he doesn't live here.... the caller then said, ok, well, if you see him or hear from him, can you let him know his son is looking for him? in shock i said, ok sure... bye. and that's all i know. suprised?

*******

this list makes me think about how God makes us all so different... He crafts our lives, our families, our beings, so that we are all so different from each other, our experiences are all so different from each other, and how He uses us will be so different.

i have a ring made from the handle of a spoon, and it barely fits my chunky baby finger (i'm a pretty big girl, lol!)... and on a dear friend, slender as a rail, it's loose on her thumb. and then another friend, who is a pretty big girl like me, i'm sure it would float on her thumb, like my slender friender, too! lol ... and God crafted us that way. unique. different bone structure, body composition, physical abilities... and none of it is by accident.

when are we going to stop looking at each other through lenses of 'differences', and instead start seeing the beauty in our uniqueness? God created us differently, molded our lives into different shapes, because we express different reflections of who He is.

i have suffered from massive depression in my life, and becuase of that experience, i have such an understanding of His mercy and compassion on His hurting children.... and i am able to share that with others. instead of seeing me as a person who is 'different', 'moody' or maybe even 'nuts', how about seeing me as a person whom God has taken on an increadible journey, to teach me about who He is, about compassion, peace in the storm, patience, tenderness..... my days, weeks, months, years, of struggling through depression, i look back on as rich times of growth that i would never change. i value those desert times in my life greatly.

.....suprised? i'm not! :D